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‘Wens. Molly.’ ‘When’s Molly what?’ the boss asked. The lady cop and I both rolled our eyes. ‘I think you’re in good hands,’ she gave me a wink. ‘So we’ll be on our way.’ The boss repeated his question after they left. ‘When’s Molly what?’ I had been ready to quit before he repeated the question, just after the door closed behind the cops. My one goal in life is not to have people think that I’m so desperate that I have to accept employment with somebody who thinks Lou Costello is the acme of comedy. But I realized he was being serious. ‘Molly Wens is the woman’s name,’ I said slowly. ‘She’s the best. The best at settin’ ’em up, and the best at takin’ ’em down. Good cop and bad cop all rolled into one. Sugar and Spice.’ ‘I have heard of her,’ he snapped his fingers. ‘The Sweet Bitch.’ ‘SweetWitch,’ I corrected him. ‘Whatever, get her in here,’ he said. ‘How do you know so much anyway?’ ‘You ought to come in more,’ I said. ‘Talk to people, read the bulletin board. It’s not just a. .. "Are you sure it can talk?" Of course I'm sure, who do you think was bidding against you? The silly bird never learnt to count past ten or we'd still be here."So Pastor Jones, slightly put out, took the bird home and at first it was a great novelty ... BUT: it turned out the bird's previous owner was a sailor on a tramp freighter and he had taught the bird to speak with his own tendency to foul (no NOT fowl you idiots) language ... after three or four very embarrassing incidents... (Including one where a young mother who was breast-feeding her daughter was encouraged to "Show us ya tits, Sweetie." ) Pastor Jones decided he was going to have to get rid of the bird. This was not an easy decision to make because he had grown fond of the galah.Discussing his problem with one of his church elders, the elder said; "how about we try something. I have a parrot that talks but all it does all day is sit on its perch and intone 'Let us pray!' Perhaps the good influence will rub off on your.
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